She’s smart, beautiful and her smile can easily light up a room … We chat to Ruimsig’s Candice Mama, an author and public speaker who travels the world to share her story about forgiveness and mental health.
When we met the young and quirky Candice, we found her to be wise beyond her years. Although her difficult childhood plays a major role in who she is today, she believes that forgiveness is the only way to move forward in life.
‘I had a very unconventional childhood. My father, Glenack Mama was murdered when I was just seven months old, and my mother left me with my grandmother. Until I was four years old, I stayed in Mafikeng until one day the kind woman who frequently visited my family took me back to her home in Joburg … the home I never knew I had. I soon learned that this kind woman was my mother, and that I’ve got two brothers as well!
It’s hard to think that this bubbly and happy woman once battled with severe depression.
‘Between the ages of 10 and 16 I was really struggling with depression, anxiety, and stress. I felt I had to take care of everyone and it was very burdensome. Sometimes I think that depression robbed me of my childhood. I was hospitalised at 16 and it was a wake-up call for me. I chose life. Today, I’m very in tune with my mental health and because I used to struggle with depression I now experience life so much richer.’
Her book, Forgiveness Redefined, details not only her childhood trauma but also the arrest and trial of her father’s murderer, apartheid-era killer Eugene de Kock.
‘I’ve been sharing my story on stage for about three years before I wrote my book. Many people have asked me for something to take home with them to share my story with their friends and family, and that’s exactly why I wrote the book in 2019. It is about how my father’s murder impacted me and how I came to meet his murderer and ultimately forgive him. After the whole ordeal, I am living my life to the fullest because I’m not only living for myself, but for my father as well.’
Forgiveness is choosing to free ourselves from our own mental prisons.
Candice’s book is about working through the burden of anger and resentment, and it has a very inspirational message – how people can change and make their lives better by forgiving and letting go of anger.
‘I am very proud to have found forgiveness. I think it was the key to realising I should prioritise myself instead of focusing on what hurt me. You spend all your time on earth with yourself so you have to be loving and kind towards yourself. You can’t be kind and empathetic towards someone else if you neglect your own mental health. ’
Despite all the trauma they experienced as a family, they are very close-knit. Just like any other family, they sometimes fight but they also share wonderful times together and visit each other regularly.
Sharing her story with audiences has taken Candice around the world. As much as she loves travelling and meeting new people, she has not found someone to share it with yet.
‘Dating is a challenge when you travel as much as I do, but I’m sure I’ll meet someone along the way. I know my flaws and I know my strengths so I don’t need a man, but I do want someone I can share experiences with. I’m only 28 so I’m not planning on settling down soon, but I do hope to fall in love, get married and have children someday.’
While in New York, Seal asked her for a selfie after he had called her ‘the coolest woman he’s ever met’ backstage at the Good Morning America show, and she has also been named one of Vogue Magazine’s 33 Most Inspiring Women alongside Michelle Obama, Nicole Kidman and Malala Yousafzai, to name a few. Candice was honoured to represent the continent.
‘I think we all want to be recognised for doing something of value, and this was like a stamp of approval. I must confess that no matter how cool these experiences are, life is more about meeting and conversing with normal people because I have found that they are the most inspirational and interesting.’
To some extent she is an extremist. Although Candice can be very serious, she also has a very spontaneous and fun personality. On a typical weekend, she either spends her time relaxing and binge-watching Netflix, or painting the town red with her friends.
‘My friends would say that I’m a clown. Whenever there is music playing, I will be dancing. I like to cheer up people so I’m not afraid of being silly or looking like an idiot. I’m either dancing, engaging with people or eating. That about sums me up.’
\We cannot wait to see what the future holds for this forgiveness advocate, happiness activist, international award-winning speaker and change agent …
Short and sweet:
Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? I’m a water girl, so definitely the beach.
Your top-three inspirational people are … Paulo Coehlo, J.K Rowling and my brother.
Describe your style … Edgy and playful with a touch of sophistication.
What is on your bedside table? Books and crystals.
How do you start your day? I typically start my day off by dancing, followed
by meditation.
What skills do you still want to learn? Acting, scuba- and sky-diving, mixed martial arts and proper meditation.
If you had a warning label, what would it be? Extremist alert!
Text: JACO-MARI HAASBROEK. Photographer: JACO BOTHMA. Make-up: ELAINE BOSHOFF. Venue: BLACK EAGLE BOUTIQUE HOTEL.
WIN! We’ve got two signed copies of Forgiveness Redefined, to give away … Simply fill in the form below to enter. Entries close 17 February.
