After years of silence, shame and struggle, Mercia Scharneck shares how faith, motherhood and a renewed mind helped her rebuild a life filled with hope.
After years marked by deep personal trauma, Mercia Scharneck from Observatory, Johannesburg east, has emerged as a voice of hope for many navigating pain, shame and self-doubt.
Today, she is a counsellor, author, speaker and mentor, but her story did not begin with confidence or clarity. It began with silence, insecurity and wounds she carried for decades.
Roots of resilience
Mercia was born and raised in Woodstock, Cape Town, the youngest of seven children in a close-knit family. She remembers those early years fondly, describing a warm community and a happy upbringing
Yet, beneath that sense of belonging, a single moment in her school years would begin to unravel her confidence. In Grade Seven, a humiliating incident with a teacher altered the course of her life. Publicly shamed in front of her classmates and told she would ‘amount to nothing’, Mercia internalised those words.
‘I just felt so insecure in that moment. I felt useless,’ she says. She told no one. The silence became a breeding ground for self-doubt, and her academic performance began to suffer. Once a strong student, she failed Grade Seven and had to repeat it, an experience she describes as deeply painful.
By Grade Nine, she had given up on school altogether, convinced the teacher’s words were true. Leaving school marked the beginning of another difficult chapter. Though she found work, she struggled to find fulfilment or purpose. Beneath the surface, unresolved pain continued to shape her identity. In her late teens, Mercia experienced a traumatic rape that would leave lasting emotional scars.
She fell pregnant and chose to have an abortion which was a decision that intensified her internal turmoil. ‘I struggled so much with that. I believed God couldn’t love me anymore,’ she shares. The weight of shame and secrecy became overwhelming. Determined to escape her past, she made the decision to leave Cape Town entirely, carrying her pain with her but hoping for a fresh start.
A new beginning
The beloved author moved to Johannesburg more than four decades ago, a decision she now sees as part of a greater plan. It was there that she met her husband, Mark. The two dated for two years before marrying, beginning a union that has now spanned 40 years.
Despite the promise of a new life, Mercia admits she brought unresolved trauma into her marriage. ‘I carried all the baggage into my marriage, and I almost ruined a perfectly good relationship,’ she says.
Her struggles with insecurity, shame and feelings of worthlessness created tension in their early years together. Yet, through patience and grace, her husband remained committed. Together, they built a family, raising two daughters who are now adults.
Today, Mercia is also a grandmother to two young children, a role she cherishes deeply.
Motherhood: Lessons in growth and grace
While Mercia speaks openly about the challenges she faced as a mother, it is in this area of her life that her growth is perhaps most evident.
She does not present motherhood as something she mastered, but rather as a journey still unfolding. ‘I don’t think I navigated it very well. I struggled with a lot of things, and I didn’t always pay attention to their needs.’ For Mercia, the emotional weight of her past often spilled over into her parenting.
At times, she describes herself as sensitive, overwhelmed and even irrational, which made it difficult to always be fully present for her daughters when they needed her most. Yet, rather than allowing that realisation to remain a source of guilt, she has chosen to let it become a catalyst for change. Today, her relationship with her daughters is evolving. Both women are now adults, and Mercia has had to learn a new kind of motherhood, one that is less about instruction and more about listening.
‘We’re still navigating through some things, but they are amazing, and I’m so grateful to have them in my life.’ If motherhood the first time around was shaped by survival, motherhood today especially through her role as a grandmother is marked by presence and joy. Her grandchildren, a young boy and his sister, have brought a new rhythm into her daily life.
Mercia and her husband are actively involved, often fetching them from school and spending afternoons together, moments she treasures deeply. Family trips and holidays have also become an important part of their bond. Long school breaks are often spent together and sleepovers at her home are frequent.
She does not see her role as a grandmother as a replacement for motherhood, but rather as a continuation, a second chance to apply the lessons she has learned. ‘Sometimes I feel like the Lord has given me another opportunity,’ she shares.
he is also more open than before. While she believes in protecting certain details, she recognises the importance of honesty within families. ‘We don’t have to share everything but we do need to tell the truth. Our children carry things in their hearts, and we need to be mindful of that.’ she says.
Renewing the mind, transforming a life
Mercia’s journey into authorship was unexpected. What began as personal reflections eventually grew into published work after encouragement from family and mentors.
Her first book, A Journey with the King, emerged from deeply personal writings about her life experiences and faith. Encouraged by positive feedback from her brother-in-law, she continued writing.
Today, she is working on multiple manuscripts, with several at different stages of completion. ‘I believe our thoughts are so important,” she says. ‘Unless we take them captive and examine them, they will control how we live.’ Mercia’s personal breakthrough came through a deeper understanding of the power of the mind.
She began to examine how her thoughts, shaped by past experiences had influenced her identity and decisions. ‘Our thoughts become our words, and our words become the life we live,’ she explains.
his realisation became the foundation of her work and writing, including her new book, A Mind Renewed, A Life Transformed. In it, she explores how shifting thought patterns and embracing truth can lead to lasting change.
Healing begins when we allow truth to challenge the lies that have held us captive,’ she says. ‘A renewed mind changes everything, how we see ourselves, how we live, and how we love. ‘We need to deal with the secrets we keep. Find someone you trust, speak about it and that’s where healing begins,’ she advises.
Legacy, faith and the road ahead
At the heart of Mercia’s work is a desire to leave a lasting legacy – not just through her writing, but through her family. ‘I want to leave a legacy of faith, a legacy of prayer and a legacy of purpose,’ she says.
She has also launched a women’s initiative, The Ripple Effect – Women’s Gathering, aimed at creating spaces for connection, healing and renewal. The gatherings offer practical, faith-based guidance in a welcoming environment for women from all walks of life.
Beyond her work, Mercia finds joy in simple moments like spending time with family, enjoying quiet evenings, and unwinding with her favourite Hallmark and Christmas-themed movies. Her life today, she says, is filled with peace, something she once thought impossible.
Mercia can be contacted directly via email: rejoicewithmercia@gmail.com
Text: DESNAY PETERSON. Photo: SHAUN BROWN
