Seven years ago, Umhlanga-based wife, mom and life coach Ella Coppola received a shocking diagnosis – she had breast cancer. In an effort to give others hope, she shares her story…
During my journey with cancer, I felt a profound shift within myself—a need to do more. I wanted to share, teach, assist and guide, but most importantly, offer support and understanding to others, not just related to cancer or illness. After a few years of being a stay-at-home-mom, I decided to study again and become a life coach. Now, I work with a variety of clients and closely collaborate with Reach 4 Recovery, a non-profit organisation and international breast cancer support group. This programme is designed to support and encourage patients with breast cancer, as well as their families.
THE DIAGNOSIS
One morning in January 2017, while showering, I discovered a lump in my left breast. Despite my tendency not to overreact, I monitored the lump daily for four months, believing it to be nothing but a harmless calcium deposit. In April, a friend suggested I get it checked, leading me to reluctantly schedule my first mammogram at Parklands Women’s Hospital. Following the mammogram, an ultrasound was performed, and a biopsy was scheduled for a few days later. It was only the evening before the biopsy that I told my family and sister about the situation. Two days after the biopsy, my gynaecologist called with the results: I had breast cancer.
THE TREATMENT
The following week, I met with the surgeon, who was ready to perform a lumpectomy or a unilateral mastectomy within days. I felt confused and overwhelmed, knowing very little about my diagnosis or breast cancer. I didn’t know what questions to ask or what options I had; I felt like I had no control over my body. Sensing my discomfort, the surgeon arranged an appointment with an oncologist the next morning, and thankfully so.
My oncologist instructed, “No surgery until we know what is going on inside your entire body.” This led to a barrage of tests and scans. The shocking result was that the cancer was on both sides, and both breasts needed to be removed. A mammogram hadn’t detected cancer in my right breast, so if I had undergone the initial surgery, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer on the right side. This experience taught me the importance of listening to my instincts, taking time to absorb the information, and always consulting an oncologist when dealing with cancer.
I had my double mastectomy three months later, believing that would be the end of it. However, my oncologist insisted on a Mammoprint test, which showed I had an 85% chance of the cancer reoccurring. I received this news on a Monday and started chemotherapy that Thursday, enduring treatment every week for three months. It was a very dark and challenging time, followed by another two years of a different treatment. Two years after my mastectomy, I began the reconstruction process. My plastic surgeon warned that it would be a long and difficult journey, and he was right. Two years and six surgeries later, I faced complications, pain and numerous hospital visits. At one point, I wanted to give up, but with the honesty and encouragement of my plastic surgeon and oncologist, I made it to the end.
When people ask about the most challenging moments, I always say, “All of it.” There was a constant stream of bad news, and just when I thought it was over, I was told it wasn’t quite finished.
HOW CANCER CHANGED ME
Those first weeks after my diagnosis were incredibly overwhelming, but I kept telling myself and others that cancer wouldn’t change me. I had always been health-conscious, eating well and working out five days a week, and I maintained these habits even after my diagnosis. However, following my oncologist’s advice, I saw a dietician to ensure my nutrition was appropriate for my cancer journey, and I underwent genetic testing.
When faced with cancer, you have two options: to fight or not to fight. What I’ve learned is that cancer does change you—how could it not? As a woman, I lost a fundamental part of myself: not only my breasts but also my hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. I was thrust into early menopause, and each of these losses made me feel like I was losing parts of what made me a woman. This is a real grief, and it’s important to allow time to mourn. While we may not change fundamentally, we must at the very least, learn to accept our physically changed selves, which requires a complete shift in mindset.
I’ve always been a deep person, but cancer pushed me to crave more genuine, honest and deeper relationships. I no longer had the emotional or physical capacity for anything superficial, which a life-threatening illness tends to do. Some people close to me couldn’t understand how the experience changed me, bringing mood swings, grief, chemo-related aggression, exhaustion and a newfound intolerance for trivial matters. However, those who stayed with me through it all became closer and more meaningful in my life.
One of the toughest parts of my journey was dealing with relationships. I found that some of the people I expected to support me weren’t strong enough to handle the changes I was going through, and I ended up losing those close connections. I initially believed that nothing would change in my life, but I came to realise that when things change inside you, they also change around you.
MY SUPPORT SYSTEM
As someone who works in an emotional support environment, I am quick to recognise those who supported me throughout my cancer journey. My family, friends, my daughters’ school, their teachers, my kids’ friends and their moms, plus my doctors, all played vital roles.
From family who cooked meals, friends who picked up my kids from school, teachers who reassured me they were looking after my girls, my husband who held my hand during difficult doctor consultations, to those who sat with me through chemo sessions, and to my daughters who were very patient with me after treatments, I am grateful for this support when I couldn’t be at my best.
Often, I didn’t know what I felt or needed, with each surgery, chemo round, treatment, and my healing; I just focused on showing up each day. While healing requires a lot of introspection, it’s not something you can always do alone. Three years after my diagnosis, I started therapy to find a safe space to process my experience. As lonely as the cancer journey can be, I was never truly alone.
INSPIRED TO FIGHT
My greatest inspirations throughout my fight against cancer were my two girls. Having lost my own mother four years before my diagnosis, I knew the pain of missing a mom, especially during tough times. My daughters were young and feared the worst, so no matter how I felt, I kept going to reassure them that they would not lose me.
Cancer is a unique journey for each person, with no one-size-fits-all experience. Our treatments, emotions and healing are all personal. As a cancer survivor and someone who works with cancer patients, my advice to those on this journey is to embrace your strength and bravery. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, express your needs and prioritise your healing.
HOW TO CHECK YOUR BREASTS FOR SIGNS OF BREAST CANCER
Regular self-exams can help you detect changes in your breasts early on, which can be crucial for effective treatment. Follow these five tips to check your breasts for signs of breast cancer.
1. KNOW YOUR NORMAL
Take note of how your breasts usually look and feel. This helps you identify any unusual changes, such as swelling, dimpling, or changes in the skin texture.
2. USE A MIRROR
Stand in front of a mirror with your arms by your sides and then raised. Look for visual changes such as differences in size, shape or skin appearance like redness or puckering.
3. FEEL FOR LUMPS
Use the pads of your fingers to check each breast, moving in a circular motion from the outside in. Be thorough by examining all areas, including the armpits, where breast tissue extends.
4. CHECK IN DIFFERENT POSITIONS
Perform your self-exam while lying down, standing, and even in the shower, where soapy hands can help you feel for subtle lumps or thickened areas.
5. MONITOR DISCHARGE
Any nipple discharge, particularly if it’s clear or bloody, could be a warning sign. Contact your doctor if you notice any unusual leakage.
Early detection saves lives, so make breast self-exams a regular part of your health routine!
Details: www.reach4recovery.org.za; IG: @reach_for_recovery_rsa; FB: Reach4RecoverySA
