Child-Centered Divorce Month: Prioritising Children’s Wellbeing Amid Conflict
January marks International Child-Centered Divorce Month, a global initiative dedicated to raising awareness about the emotional and psychological impact of divorce and related litigation on children. By encouraging parents to prioritise their children’s well-being, this campaign highlights the importance of mediation and other child-focused strategies during and after divorce proceedings.
“Children should never be collateral damage in a divorce,” says Susan Abro of Susan Abro Attorneys. “Parents must remain mindful of the long-term effects their actions can have on their children, especially when conflict escalates. A collaborative, child-centered approach can protect their emotional and psychological health.”
The Legal Landscape in South Africa
In South Africa, recent changes to High Court and Regional Court rules emphasise the role of mediation in family law matters. Before initiating divorce proceedings, parties must indicate whether they have attempted mediation or provide reasons for refusing to do so. Alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation and collaborative procedures are becoming increasingly essential in addressing issues involving minor children.
Although arbitration is not yet permitted in family law cases in South Africa, the Law Society’s Family Law Committee has proposed amendments to the Arbitration Act to the Minister of Justice to enable this practice. These methods, which can be combined, offer cost-effective solutions while maintaining a child-centered focus. “Mediation and collaboration ensure that children’s needs are prioritised and reduce the likelihood of prolonged conflict,” explains Abro.
A Recent Case Highlights the Importance of a Child-Centered Approach
A recent High Court matter, conducted by Susan Abro Attorney, underscores the critical importance of prioritising children’s needs during custody disputes. In this case, a senior magistrate and his wife were held to be in contempt of court for aiding their daughter in defying a court order granting visitation rights to the father of their two-year-old grandchild. The mother was, likewise, held to be in contempt of the Court Order. The father alleged cultural differences and false accusations of sexual misconduct were used to block his access to his child.
“This case demonstrates how unchecked conflict can spiral out of control, leaving children caught in the middle,” says Abro. “It is a poignant reminder that parents—and their extended families—must focus on the best interests of the child, not their grievances against each other.”
The social worker involved in the case reported that the child appeared happy and comfortable in her father’s care, showing no signs of distress or trauma. The Durban High Court’s ruling confirmed the unsubstantiated nature of the sexual misconduct allegations and highlighted the harm caused by denying the father access to his child.
The Way Forward: A Call for Collaboration
The South African Law Reform Commission continues to explore community-based alternative dispute resolution mechanisms, including the involvement of traditional leaders in child-focused negotiations. Meanwhile, family law specialists advocate for a dedicated Family Division within the High Court to handle these sensitive matters.
“Whether through mediation, collaboration, or proposed legislative changes, the goal is always to protect the child’s well-being,” says Abro. “Parents must remember that their roles as caregivers endure beyond the divorce and require mutual respect and cooperation.”
As International Child-Centered Divorce Month reminds us, adopting a child-centered approach is not just a legal obligation but a moral imperative to ensure that children emerge from this challenging transition with resilience and emotional security.