When Kay Cheytanov’s daughter was bullied, she felt powerless. Then angry. Our kids, she says, deserve better!
I never imagined I would be writing about childhood depression. For me, mental health in children was something that happened to ’other families’. Until it happened to mine. My daughter was bullied so severely that it broke something inside her. What should have been carefree primary school years became a daily battle to get out of bed, to keep believing that she was worthy of friendship and love.
Watching her slip into depression at such a young age shook me to my core. As a mom, I felt powerless. And then angry. Angry that a generation of children are carrying burdens far too heavy for their age. Angry that we, parents, schools, communities are not doing enough to protect them. That anger turned into determination. I had to do something.
The childhood we’re losing
Childhood today looks very different from even a decade ago. Instead of building resilience through play, our children are often tethered to devices. Instead of navigating face-to-face friendships, they are negotiating the brutal terrain of online interactions. Sometimes cruel, always relentless. Psychologist Jonathan Haidt describes this shift as the “great rewiring of childhood.”
He points to 2010 as the turning point, the year smartphones and social media became central to kids’ lives, and anxiety and depression rates began to climb dramatically. He calls this a ‘phone-based childhood’, one that erodes sleep, attention, and emotional stability. His solution is simple but radical. Delay smartphones, delay social media, and bring back real-world play. As a mother who has watched her child suffer, I believe he’s right. I wish I had that wisdom in 2020.
Roots that run deep
Dr. Gabor Maté, another voice I deeply respect, has written extensively on how childhood experiences shape mental health. He reminds us that ‘most, almost all, mental-health disorders originate in childhood experience, as coping mechanisms.’. His words landed like a punch to my chest. When children face bullying, neglect, or the silent ache of disconnection, they adapt in the only way they know how. But those adaptations often turn into struggles later. What if we didn’t wait until later? What if we gave children healthier coping strategies now, in their classrooms, in their homes, in their friendships?
The importance of challenge and connection
Jordan Peterson often speaks about the danger of overprotecting children. He argues that kids don’t grow strong by being shielded from hardship, but by being supported through it. ‘You don’t protect your children … you expose them to the world as much as you possibly can.’ That doesn’t mean throwing children into the deep end without support. It means creating communities where they can face challenges, fail safely, and learn they are more resilient than they believe. It means letting them scrape their knees, stand back up, and discover the pride that comes with perseverance.
Why I had to act
When I saw my daughter suffer, I realized how many other children must be walking the same lonely road. How many must be feeling overwhelmed, anxious, unseen. That realization haunted me. I couldn’t unsee it. So, I began asking … how can we, as parents and educators, change the story? How do we stop outsourcing our children’s mental health to apps and screens? How do we remind them that they are capable of handling big feelings?
For me, the answer was to create spaces where kids could talk about stress, learn practical tools for calm, and feel less alone in their struggles. That’s what inspired the creation of the High 5 Production. But more than the program itself, it was the conviction that we have to act now, before another generation grows up believing that anxiety is just the ‘new normal’.
A call to parents and teachers
I am not writing this as an expert with all the answers. I am writing this as a mom who has lived the nightmare of watching her child’s light dim under the weight of depression. I don’t want that for your child. I don’t want that for any child. So here is my plea … Talk openly with your children about their mental health. Delay the devices and guard their sleep fiercely. Create room for unstructured play, risk, and real friendships. And most importantly, surround them with the one thing every expert agrees on, a network of nurturing adults who see them, hear them, and love them unconditionally. Because childhood should not be about surviving. It should be about growing, laughing, stumbling, and discovering the joy of being alive. We owe our children nothing less.
About High 5
High 5 is an interactive theatre show designed to help children aged 8 to 11 to deal with the stress and anxiety they face in this digitally-driven world. It teaches students essential tools to help them navigate the issues of stress, anxiety and bullying in a positive way, and empower them to embrace kindness, resilience, safety, bravery and self-acceptance in their daily lives.
This 3RC production is joyful, powerful, and unforgettable, helping to equip young learners with practical life tools – but in a way that felt like play, not therapy. High 5 isn’t just a show, says Kay. ‘It’s a movement. A way of saying to every child, You matter. You’re not alone.’
Details: 3RC Insta, Facebook and Tiktok
Article by Kay Cheyianov. Image sourced: Unsplash.
