Teenagers are often moody. Which is why it’s easy to miss signs that they might actually be depressed and need help.
Disruptions to routines. Missed milestones. Social isolation. Fear and anxiety. These have all taken a toll on the mental well-being of youth. Add to that puberty and hormonal changes, and it can be very damaging for a child’s psyche that typically thrives on routine and predictability. Abdurahman Kenny, Mental Health Portfolio Manager for Pharma Dynamics, shares what you can do as a parents to become more aware of behavioural changes in your children in order to give them the right support.
“Loss of interest in activities that used to bring joy, disturbed sleep, changes in appetite, lack of concentration, irritability, low energy or little motivation, risky or harmful behaviour, substance abuse and feeling hopeless can lead to suicide ideation if not properly addressed.”
Here’s what you can do as a parent:
Be there for your child. Show empathy and understanding – even if they don’t want to talk to you or do much of anything. Depression makes doing even the smallest of tasks difficult. Validate their emotions, but not their unhealthy behaviour. Ask questions about their mood in a non-threatening way. Don’t be judgemental or try to solve their problems, just listen to what they are saying and let them know that you are there for them, while showing compassion for what they’re going through.
Focus on the positive. Compliment them on the positive things they do – even if it’s just going to school, setting the dinner table or helping with the dishes. Try not to belabour their negative points, but rather acknowledge that they’re trying. They don’t want to feel this way. If they could snap out of it, they would, but depression doesn’t work that way. Showing love and appreciation for the little things they do well will strengthen your relationship.
Encourage self-care. While it may be difficult for your teen to look after themselves while they’re feeling depressed, it’s so important. Getting regular exercise, eating healthy meals, sleeping enough, participating in sports and wholesome hobbies that make them feel good about themselves, limiting screen time and social media use, practising gratitude by keeping a journal, encouraging social interaction, setting achievable goals are all things they can do that will improve their mood and self-esteem.
Set boundaries. Healthy boundaries are essential for youth to form positive relationships with others. Setting these limits creates physical and emotional safety for your teen, so they know what is acceptable and what is not. Even when they are depressed, rules should be respected.
Get them the help they need. Discuss going to a therapist if their mood doesn’t improve. If they don’t want to go, ask in what way you can help. If they tell you to back off, don’t retaliate with anger. It might just be their way of telling you they need space. Accept their response and give them some more time to think about it. If they don’t come back to you, ask your GP to recommend a few therapists. Then put the suggested therapists to your teen and ask them to make a choice. It’s important to make them feel involved in the process, which sets the stage for effective therapy.
Details: For more info on how to manage depression, visit mydynamics.co.za or contact Pharma Dynamics’ toll-free helpline on 0800 205 026, which is manned by trained counsellors who are on call from 8am to 8pm, seven days a week.
