Matie van Graan never set out to make people laugh … but from reunion stages to social media screens, her unfiltered storytelling and unforgettable characters are doing exactly that.
There are funny people. And then there’s Matie van Graan. The kind of funny that sneaks up on you mid-sentence, leaves you laughing slightly too loudly in public, and wondering whether she meant to say that … or whether that’s just how her brain works.
Comedian, MC, Binnelanders actress, content creator and storyteller, Matie has built a following thanks to her sharp observations, fearless honesty and beautifully unscripted delivery. But here’s the twist — she never actually set out to become funny.
The laughter that caught her by surprise
Matie’s first real brush with stand-up happened in 2022 at her 40th high school reunion at Kempton Park Hoërskool, hardly the traditional launchpad for a comedy career.
“I was fairly quiet and under the radar at school.”
The surprise didn’t stop there. As she started creating video content, she noticed directors and crew members physically hiding behind cameras and equipment to stifle their laughter.
“I still couldn’t understand it. I always say I try to educate and teach people since everything I say is basically true — they just laugh it off.”
To this day, she insists there hasn’t been a single defining moment where she thought, yes, I am hilarious. It simply … happened.
“When I did my first stand-up, most of my school comrades laughed themselves into tears but were at the same time very surprised. Just like me’’ she admits.
Fast wit (but don’t expect her to run)
Although she’s known for her quick comebacks, Matie is quick to clarify that her speed is strictly verbal. “I definitely wouldn’t regard myself as quick on my feet since my unique physique simply doesn’t allow it. If you ever see me running or being abnormally quick on my feet, you must know there is something terribly wrong and you better start running too!”
Her comedic magic thrives in unpredictability. She prefers arriving at sets, meetings and interviews without a script, leaning fully into improvisation.
“Like Oprah said, I love to also see the surprise on my face.” Instead, she relies on instinct. And occasionally her delightfully bizarre present connection. One standout example includes gifting a man a small pink Lip Ice.
“It creates the impression that he has been eating very expensive lamb,” she explains matter-of-factly. “It immediately uplifts his financial perception while hydrating his kissing machine, since you never know when you are going to need it.”
When serious moments become comedy anyway
Matie admits her humour doesn’t switch off easily, especially as she gets older.
“I only realise it when I notice my hubby making big eyes at me or when people try to hide their discomfort.”
She once attended an AGM of their complex and the residents were arguing about the younger ones being too noisy. “I also love high volume and fast music on a Friday afternoon and was trying to explain that life is for the living and that some people are just terminally unhappy in life. I accidentally said that one person’s prostitute is another person’s community worker instead of one person’s terrorist is another person’s freedom fighter. The terminally unhappies obviously didn’t find it funny while the living lot were agreeing with loud laughter.”
The platteland tannie who changed everything
One of Matie’s most beloved characters – her platteland tannie – came into existence almost by accident when her daughter suggested she audition for a clothing advert looking for an “old tannie”. Soon after signing with a talent agency, a brand-new career was born at 53.
Her social media persona, @matiestad, followed after her move from the platteland to Centurion. While her content has evolved, the character still reflects who she is at her core.
In her stand-up show, Ek Prati Khaki – Ek Dra Dit, Matie blends real-life experiences with comedy, often dipping into deeper, more meaningful moments.
“I cannot give you what I don’t have,” she says. “Nobody can argue with your testimony, but everybody has an opinion on the letters of words.”
Comedy with a message (and questionable advice)
Matie’s shows often include quirky lucky draws featuring symbolic comedic gifts — like giving someone a small torch and telling them it signals that it’s their time to shine.
And if her iconic tannie could offer readers life advice? It would be exactly what you’d expect … part wisdom, part chaos. “Do not speak negatively about yourself, even if it is a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference. Words are energies and cast spells, that is why it is called spelling.”
Her relationship advice is slightly more unconventional: “If your wife doesn’t behave, play your wedding video in reverse until you give her back to her father. It is an instant behaviour rectifier.”
Finding humour in life, even on the tough days
For Matie, comedy is less about jokes and more about connection. She believes humour can diffuse conflict and help people see life differently.
“The minute you lose your temper, you have lost the plot. Look for the lighter, funnier side of things to resolve conflict and win people over.”
Her personal rule for difficult days is refreshingly simple: “Just do it. One foot in front of the other. When you help somebody else by making them smile, it lightens your own mood.”
When the spotlight fades
When she’s off duty, Matie swaps punchlines for gardening — having planted more than 1 000 plants in her complex — or indulges in what she calls brain-numbing reality television.
If she wasn’t in entertainment at all, she suspects she’d be reorganising people’s homes on reality TV.
“I have done it on five occasions already and love to take places from awful chaos to clean happiness.
Ultimately, her goal remains beautifully uncomplicated. “If I can lift people’s spirits and make them forget about their daily traumas for an hour or two, it’s been a successful performance.”
And in true Matie style, she manages to do exactly that — while reminding us that sometimes, life is simply too short not to laugh at.
Matie’s Pretoria playbook:
Fancy dinner or serious business chat? Matie books a table at Bossa, Tashas or Doppio Zero — preferably somewhere with good lighting and even better wine.
Casual catch-up with the homies? Spur wins because it’s quick and relaxed.
Coffee loyalty status: “Always, anytime, anywhere … Seattle,” she says, with the confidence of someone who orders before reaching the counter.
Hidden Pretoria gem? Fort Schanskop. Breathtaking views, rich history and a rare spot where you can sit quietly without checking over your shoulder.
Foodie surprise worth discovering: Delizioso at Doringkloof Mall, where homemade food meets prices that seem like a steal scam.
Long-day survival meal? A German hotdog on a Coney bun with Buttro and All Gold tomato sauce, paired with a Seattle Grande Café Latte single shot. Shoes and bra off!
Ultimate relaxation escape? A full spa day at Ingaadi with her cousins, lovingly called The Oertels, where laughter, naps and accidental snoring are all part of the treatment package.
Perfect date night? Dinner at Stephanie’s Restaurant, a show at Atterbury Theatre, followed by a sneaky sleepover at City Lodge across the road.
Saturday morning danger zone? Leroy Merlin Centurion, described by Matie as “sinful desires being legalised” … cash preferred to avoid financial regret.
Sports weekends? It’s a stay-in-home run where they can braai, shout and swear at the ref and scream at the players as if they can hear them. “Far too embarrassing for public places …”
Favourite outdoor or nature escape? Faerie Glen Nature Reserve, where the dogs walk proudly and the humans follow politely. They’ve got two furry children, Heilie a German Shepherd and Popo, a Yorkie. “It is also very relaxing and entertaining to drive eight times around the Fountains Circle since we don’t have an outdoor Ferris wheel in Tshwane to take us around and around and around. You also experience a great feeling of direction once you exit the circle!”
Details: matievangraan@gmail.com or follow @matiestad on Facebook and Insta.
Text: RIALIEN FURSTENBERG. Image: SUPPLIED.
