Thinking of eloping? 5 things to know before you say I do

Dreaming of skipping the big wedding and saying “I do” in a more intimate setting? Eloping might sound like the perfect way to keep things simple, but there are a few things to consider before you make it official. Shirley da Silva, founder of Evermore Venue & Spa in Roodeplaat, shares five things to know before you run away together, and why a micro-wedding might just be the best of both worlds.

Say “elope” and most people picture Las Vegas at 2am … a neon chapel, an Elvis impersonator in a rhinestone jumpsuit, and a marriage certificate signed before the bar tab is settled.

The real thing is quieter. Merriam-Webster defines eloping as running away in secret to get married, usually without your parents’ consent. These days it mostly means a very small wedding, planned around the two of you rather than the guest list.

If you get engaged over the festive season and the first family lunch turns into a debate about numbers, here is what to know before you run.

1. You can’t elope alone

South African law requires a marriage officer and two witnesses. The officer, the couple and both witnesses sign the marriage register, which then goes to Home Affairs to be recorded. Your private ceremony for two needs three more people, so choose your witnesses carefully. They will be the only guests at your wedding.

2. Get the paperwork ready

The marriage officer can’t marry you without your identity documents or the prescribed affidavit, and your witnesses need identification too. If one of you isn’t South African, allow extra time – both partners must attend an interview with an immigration officer at least two weeks before the ceremony.

3. Sign the antenuptial contract first

In South Africa you are married in community of property by default, unless you signed a valid antenuptial contract before the wedding. A quick ceremony is no reason to skip this. Speak to an attorney well before the date.

4. Decide who hears the news first

Make a short list of the people who should hear it from you directly, and phone them before anything goes on social media. If you want family to celebrate with you later, plan that now. A dinner or a braai a few weeks after gives them their turn.

5. Consider a micro-wedding instead

You need two witnesses anyway, and going from two people to twenty is a small step. A micro-wedding, usually somewhere between 10 and 30 guests, keeps the day small and unhurried, but your parents and closest friends hear your vows in person. There is no awkward phone call afterwards, and no second party for the people who missed the first.

Picture one long table, a good meal and a few speeches from people who know you well. That may be closer to what you pictured when you first said “let’s just elope”.

Whichever you choose, you don’t need a passport, a neon sign or an Elvis. At Evermore in Roodeplaat, 15 minutes outside Pretoria, couples can enjoy a venue designed for weddings of just a handful of people, with the mountains as the backdrop.

Sources: 

Merriam-Webster, “Elope” (definition) 

Marriage Act 25 of 1961 (South Africa)

Grocott’s Mail, “Formalities of concluding a valid civil marriage and engagement”

Western Cape Government, “Applying for a marriage certificate”

VDT Attorneys, “Foreign nationals marrying South African citizens”