Intuitive coach Evelyn Alessandri helps us wrap up 2022 on a happy note, and prepares us for the year ahead, with renewed enthusiasm and motivation.
On New Year there is often a moment of reflection … on the year gone by, of happy gains and missed opportunities. It is also a good time to think about bringing better balance to our lives and Evelyn believes it is the state of our inner world that helps us deal with the challenges in life.
She says if we’re negative and full of self-doubt and pity when times get tough, we don’t cope very well. But if we’ve trained our brain to look for the positive first, we calmly and resiliently move over the bumps in the road.
“Our brains are wired to protect us, to look for potential threats and danger. It doesn’t notice the good and positive along the way. I’m convinced this is why we spend so much of our day focused on what went wrong rather than on what went right.”
So why do so many of us struggle with negative thoughts and a chattering mind that doesn’t stop tripping us up with its complaining and judgement?
“It’s the reason we struggle to avoid victimhood. There is no doubt that we all have days where we feel sorry for ourselves and that’s ok, but it’s not a good place to stay. You have to take action to get out of the ‘pity pond’, and that’s where gratitude can help.”
Evelyn says that gratitude rewires the pathways of our brain by storing good thoughts and feelings. As the storage of gratitude and positivity builds up, it acts like a bat to a ball when negativity creeps in.
“You are encouraged to end off 2022 on a positive note, by reflecting back over the year with a positive mindset, rather than one of judgement, regret and disappointment.”
Take time to think about questions like:
What have you achieved that you’re proud of?
What lessons have you learnt from difficult experiences? We often learn a lot about ourselves when life is tough.
What did you do that worked for you this year?
What were the highlights for you?
Was there a time you were truly brave?
Who are you grateful for? Who made a difference in your life, and how can you thank them?
What can you be grateful for?
“When life is really tough and it’s hard to find something to be grateful for. Don’t give up. There is always something positive you can find, and as soon as you do, you will start to change the way you view your life. Gratitude plants hope and if we have hope we start moving towards a happier life.”
Have you noticed how easy it is to put others first, and when we finally need energy and a good mindset to help ourselves we don’t know where to begin?
“Why not start the year of 2023 off by designing or putting together your own bag of self-help tools that you know will keep you focused and that will bring balance when the road gets a little bumpy?”
Here are a few life tools that you may wish to consider adding to your bag:
Gratitude Look for something to be grateful for, every day. This way you train your brain to look for the good instead of being stuck with the negative and challenging things happening in your life. Keep a gratitude journal – something you can look back on when you need a gratitude boost.
Write or journal about what is going on in your life When you are dealing with something challenging, put pen to paper. When we write it down, it’s like magic, your brain leaves your troubles on the page. Your thinking becomes clearer and your brain less foggy. Don’t be afraid to write it all down, don’t hold back. If you are worried about someone reading what you’ve written, tear it up, throw it away or burn it and let it go.
Intuition It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our heads and then it becomes difficult to make decisions that are good for us. Listen to your gut and trust your intuition before you make a decision.
Watch your self-talk Do you hear the way you talk to yourself? What about when you make a mistake or don’t do something as well as you wanted to? Do words like “you’re stupid”, “I can’t”, “what will people say?” pop into your vocabulary? We are all guilty of negative self-talk at one time or another. I have this trick that works for me. I say: “I love you Evelyn” and I’m amazed at how quickly my mind shifts from self-judgement and improves my self-talk. Please give it a try.
Tribe Surround yourself with the right people in 2023. Who are the positive people in your life that believe in you, support and encourage you? Are they aligned with your values? Values like: trust, kindness, respect, authenticity. It’s ok to let go of the people who don’t fit. Make sure there is a friend who you can lean on in challenging times.
Be mindful This is about being aware of what you are thinking and feeling in the moment. Meditating and taking time to sit quietly and focus on your breathing are wonderful practices that will help you to let go of negative thoughts and feelings. When your mind gets loud, it’s time to be still and be present. Eating mindfully – appreciating the taste, texture and smell of the food. Listen when someone is speaking rather than thinking of your reply. Be aware of what is going on around you. Are you walking in the garden totally immersed in the beauty around you or is your mind somewhere else?
Daily affirmations are a wonderful way to keep our minds positive An example would be: “I add something special to this world” or “I am designing my life and creating my own incredible story.” Choose one that resonates with you and then repeat it as often as you remember throughout the day.
Self-love Be kind to you, take time out for yourself every day, even if it’s just for 15 minutes. No distractions, just you and quiet time with your thoughts. Spend time in nature by going for a walk or just sitting and noticing what is happening around you. You could end your day with a peaceful, soothing bath. This time allows you to reflect and let go of any negative thoughts.
“You are the captain of your ship. It is your life journey and you owe it to yourself to live it fully and authentically. Set your intentions for the year and be clear about what tricks and tips you are going to use in your own personal self-care bag that will keep you positive and grateful, and your voyage filled with hope.
Details: You can follow Evelyn on FB: coachalessandri and IG: @evelynalessandri, e-mail [email protected] or visit www.evelynalessandri.com
