As Mark Barnard pins his hopes on making the final squad for SA’s Deaf Rugby Elite, he reflects on his love for the sport, his passion for putting the Deaf community on the map and how rugby was ultimately the catalyst through which he found love.
As this Durban North resident celebrates his recent selection for the South African Deaf Rugby Elite Training Squad, for this year’s World Deaf Sevens Championship in Argentina, the rising rugby star also scored on the romance front and tells us how he met his lovely wife, Amy, and how their romance has grown from there.
“In a really roundabout way, rugby was the catalyst that led to me meeting Amy,” says Mark, a teacher at Fulton School for the Deaf in Gillitts and a member of Crusaders Rugby Durban North, where he plays for the third team.
Mark was born profoundly deaf, which doctors suspect was due to cytomegalovirus (CMV), and says when he was growing up, he was never really involved in the Deaf community.
“I went to mainstream schools and didn’t learn South African Sign Language until I was 20. When I wanted to play rugby, I was told I would run a great risk of losing my remaining hearing if I were to sustain a head knock. My own research suggested the odds were the same as for anyone with regular hearing. Being deaf, we’re expected not to act, sing, dance, create music or be public speakers, sportsmen, doctors. All those things and more exist outside the box of things considered achievable or appropriate for us. Breaking the box is rewarding, so I decided to pursue something I was passionate about.”
Mark played school rugby, but it wasn’t until he matriculated and started his first season of senior club rugby that he sought out others in the Deaf community.
“Although I trained hard in my first club season, I played very little rugby as I was relegated to the bench. At most I got a handful of minutes on the field. I got more and more frustrated as players were called up ahead of me. Eventually I’d had enough and asked the coaches directly what more I needed to do to make the squad. When they couldn’t give me a direct answer, I started wondering if it was because I was deaf.”
This led to Mark starting to look for others in the same position as him.
“At first, I just wanted to know if there were other Deaf rugby players out there. That’s when I discovered the South African Deaf Rugby Association. I know first-hand the difficulties facing the Deaf community, and I find people connect best when we have something in common. Little did I know it would change the entire course of my life.”
Then one of Mark’s next in-depth introductions to the wider Deaf community came through the Miss Deaf South Africa Facebook page. Amy (born Wilson) who was also hard of hearing, but had been a finalist in Miss Deaf SA.
On a quiet day in 2014, both reacted with the same sentiments to a post in which someone questioned how a hard of hearing candidate who had grown up in the hearing world could have won the title that year.
“Unbeknown to either of us, Amy and I both grew up in the mainstream community/hearing world, and didn’t have much connection with the Deaf community. We were “deaf” to the hearing, and “hearing” to the deaf. How was that fair? Where did we fit in? It really was pure chance that we both happened to find the same thread … a thread that led me to meet my best friend and future wife.”
A little bit of Facebook stalking later and Mark discovered he and Amy both attended UKZN’s Howard College campus. They made a plan to meet up at an end-of-semester Drama event.
“Amy was doing her Honours in Drama at the time, while I was taking a first year course as an elective. We became good friends and, over the next few years, discovered a lot of common interests, a shared sense of humour, and a capacity for expanding each other’s worldviews that we’d never found in anyone else.”
Countless coffee dates and late night conversations deepened the pair’s friendship, and Mark says eventually he had an epiphany.
“I realised she was ‘the one’. We moved on to officially dating and on Saturday, October 18, 2014, I asked her to marry me at Makaranga Gardens. Ten years on, one gorgeous wedding and some furry family members later, Amy is still one of my biggest supporters and motivators, and we’ve shared several adventures across South Africa and one memorable trip to Greece!”
Mark’s selection for the South African Deaf Rugby Elite Training Squad for this year’s World Deaf Sevens Championship sees the enthusiastic sportsman not only celebrate his rugby achievements, but also living his dream of using his involvement with the rugby to create awareness and inspire others who are deaf or hard of hearing.
“We want to put the Deaf community on the map. We hope to facilitate more interaction and acceptance between the Deaf community and the rest of society. But, mostly we want to prove to people who share our difficulties that they can lead a normal, successful and purposeful life.”
The tournament marks the first occasion that South Africa will be competing in a World Deaf Rugby tournament since 1995, having missed the 2003 and 2018 editions. The squad will compete against hosts Argentina, as well as Kenya, Ghana, Australia, New Zealand, England, Japan and the reigning champions, Wales. Seventeen players have been selected for the Men’s Elite Training Squad, which will be cut to 12. Mark backs himself to make the final cut for the tournament which begins in April.
“I’ve been capped once before for the SA Deaf team in a 15s match against Wales, and that is one of my proudest moments. Having been selected for the sevens squad is a massive achievement and one I’m hoping to build on. It is a really exciting prospect to learn from titans of the sport. It has also given me the opportunity to grow my skills as a rugby player.”
As a teacher Mark says he would love nothing more than for his learners to be able to read, communicate, take on meaningful jobs and live life to the fullest.
“I would love to see Deaf Rugby become a vehicle to spread deaf awareness and culture. If I could inspire deaf children to take up rugby as a sport that would be absolutely amazing.”
Amy, who is HOD of Culture, Dramatic Arts at Northlands Girls’ High School, could not be more proud of Mark’s success on the sports field. She says, along with some profoundly gifted, deaf sporting heroes, Mark is proof that although hearing loss is a disability, it doesn’t limit a person’s potential.
