Once-upon-a-time … is how all fairytales start. And for Sunningdale’s Senta Seele it all appeared to be going great. Until two years ago, when she found herself at 43, divorced, with no children, and having to start life from scratch.
We all share the dream of a fairytale life and look forward to our happily-ever-after, but what happens if our story doesn’t turn out how we hoped it would? In her new book My Epic Fail Fairytale, local author, podcaster and motivational speaker Senta shares how to shift your focus from happily-ever-after to happily-in-the-now.
“The life I wanted for myself was no longer possible, and I grieved it. I also had to face and process my inner struggles with self-worth, intimacy, body image and more. I felt like I had stepped out of a cage, which brought relief but, at the same time, I was terrified.”
And so Senta started journaling. She became more vulnerable with her friends and made a firm decision to rewrite her life story, one that embraced happiness and kindness, with boundaries.
“Journaling became a massive part of my healing journey. I did the work. I felt all the feelings. And i worked hard to truly get to know myself. I made the choice to heal – to be an active participant in my own life story. And I wanted this for other women too.”
In her book, Senta – who is also the founder of The Maya Company, a successful Egyptian belly dance studio – talks about what to do when your fairytale goes wrong. She questions what epic fails really are and shares insight on how to step out into the world with strength, power and positivity. Her greatest desire is to help people live better, happier lives.
“I’m passionate about sharing and educating the public through teaching, performing, shows, festivals and other events. I also host tours to Egypt – she’s already done 25 trips – which is one of the most sacred and spiritual places on this planet.”
As chairlady of KZN Women in Business for 2020 and 2021, Senta also had the perfect platform from which to make an impact on so many women’s lives.
“I wanted this to continue after I finished my time as chair.”
And so the doors opened for Senta, through motivational speaking, workshops, a coaching membership programme and now her book.
She’s MC’d for a slew of women-inspired and charity driven events over the years, and is particularly passionate about engaging with young women, on issues like body image, and embracing their own (not society’s) definition of beautiful.
Senta launched her podcast, Champagne Moments, focussed on empowering and uplifting conversations, and those special life moments worth celebrating; and last year, founded the Champagne Club where she coaches women through different topics every month.
“We’ve all had at least one failed fairytale in love, business, friendship or life, so we can all relate to having to pick ourselves up and keep going. In my case, I desperately wanted children and I feel the sadness of not having had them every day. But after a lot of self-work, I reached a space of acceptance and I’m totally okay with being alone.”
That doesn’t mean she’s given up on the idea of sharing her life with a wonderful man. Just that she’s found her happy place – through journaling and friends, sunrises, the full moon, nature’s cycles, music shows, dancing, and balancing quiet, alone time with busy, public time – and she continues to work on healing her soul.
“Movement is my therapy – when I have bad days I dance, or go for a walk on the promenade, or workout. But I also feel the feelings. It’s a way of moving through them better. Living life fearing what may never happen is living a half-life. If something doesn’t make you happy, don’t do it anymore. Set boundaries that make you feel safe, be clear on who and what deserves to be in your life, and then throw yourself completely into life!”
About the book
My Epic Fail Fairytale is available for R200 from Lady Boho Beauty in Westville Junction, Home Baked on Umhlanga Rocks Drive, Impala Ridge in Drummond or online at senta.life
Senta’s top tips for shifting your focus …
- You can start a new life at any time. You are worthy of choice, of the life you want; of love, desire, passion, success and joy. This is your life, say YES! to it, to amazing adventures, to meeting people, to conversations, to opening your heart and to new fairy tales.
- Feelings are meant to be felt. Cry. Feel sad for yourself, feel angry, scared, despair, helpless. But also connect to the beautiful emotions of love, joy, passion, bliss and freedom.
- Have an honest look at your stories and narratives. Are they healthy, or do they need adjusting?
- Celebrate your beautiful body for all that it is. And if it doesn’t feel your best, healthiest, most comfortable self, then go on that journey to transform it. Let go of society’s perfect image or your cultural or generational stories, and connect to your own body story.
- Fill your life with things that bring you joy – sunrises, beach walks, shopping, spa days, flowers.
- Love yourself more than anyone else possibly could.
- Be grateful for all the beautiful moments in your life, and the lessons, and celebrate them.
- Take responsibility for your part in the story and forgive yourself.
- Be your own shero. Stop waiting for the fairytale prince, the next job, the better house, or the child. You only have one life. Grab it with both hands and live it fully!
Details: You can follow Senta on FB: myepicfailfairytale or
IG: @my_epic_fail_fairytale or e-mail her at [email protected]
