When it comes to cancer, 42-year-old Candice King has a different take on the destructive condition than most. She describes it as a life-altering experience that led her to her life’s calling.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2014, Candice felt anything but grateful. She’d just lost her mother, three weeks prior to a battle with lung cancer, and now she was facing her own fight.
“I never did my own breast examinations so hadn’t noticed the lump, which was detected during a routine annual gynae check-up. I was diagnosed with hormone receptor positive Stage 2b invasive ductal carcinoma. The cancer was hormone-related and had grown out of the tissue and spread.”
After ‘being man handled’ as Candice describes it, by many doctors, she was given a treatment plan that included Neoadjuvant chemotherapy before undergoing surgery to remove 21 lymph nodes from under her arm and breast conserving surgery.
“Before chemo I cut my hair and donated my ponytail to CANSA as a way of doing my bit. I had four rounds of the Red Devil, the Navy SEALs of chemo treatment, that worked like a charm. My 5cm tumour shrunk to 1cm and I received 12 rounds of Paclitaxel chemotherapy to kill anything else that was lingering and a final round of radiation.
“This was not fun as I wasn’t allowed to wet the area that was being radiated. Seven weeks later, when I was finally able to have a full shower, it felt like the best shower I’d ever experienced.”
Candice, who at the time had two very dependant young children, says that in spite of how well her treatment worked, the road to recovery was a long and hard one.
“Facing mortality is a terrifying experience that changes you forever. I carried deep sadness for most of my treatment as I felt life had dealt me a cruel blow. I had to choose to focus on myself instead of mourning my mother as I did not have the emotional capacity to do both. Being sick, I also missed out on so much, and I had to be brave not only for me but for my family.”
Candice says her husband Vince, was phenomenal, and her girls Keira and Maria, were so brave.
“From the beginning, I told my girls what was going to happen. Maria asked me straight out if I was going to die like her Grandi (my mom). That was hard, but we walked this journey together and tried to find the humour in it all. They were a part of shaving my hair and made jokes about my shiny head and stinky armpit when I couldn’t wash it. I cried most days and Vince held space even though he was going through his own fears.”
Candice says she lived in constant fear and struggled to find peace during treatment and afterwards.
“I spent months trying to rediscover who I was, until I thought about other women going through the same and how I could try and help them cope. As an individual I’ve always been a helper, a server of humanity and someone who heals through my own experiences. Pre-cancer I was a sales rep and post cancer I became a life coach, a calling that blossomed out of my experience.”
Today as a neuroscience and emotional intelligence coach, Candice guides women through understanding their emotions to break the patterns that are no longer serving them and re-discover who they are, in order to live a life of authenticity and confidence.
“Additionally, I empower parents to build a foundation of trust, empathy and understanding with their children. I also coach teens. This involves talking about emotions, boundaries, tough conversations, healthy decision-making, self-love and self-confidence.”
Creating self-awareness is key to unlocking anything you want to change in life, says Candice. To be able to walk alongside somebody as they begin to explore their inner strength, power and courage is fulfilling for her.
“The best part is watching them recognise this within themselves. I don’t have a magic wand, but I do have the tools and skills. My passion is emotion, my purpose is to help, and my superpower is being a human with a plethora of experiences.”
In the years since treatment, the only word Candice has ever really craved was ‘remission’, and in January this year, she was given the good news by her oncologist.
“It was one of the best moments of my life. I am in a good place emotionally. I’ve had a few wobblies over the years when fear rears its ugly head, but I’m grateful for the lessons my cancer journey has taught me and that it put me on this path of helping others.”
These days Candice says she is nutty about yoga, loves to pound the tar with her music blaring to clear her mind and shift heavy emotions, and she enjoys the gift of sunshine and beach with her family.
“Breast cancer does not define who I am anymore, and I live my life in awe of its beauty and gratitude.”
Candice’s top tips on staying positive
- Mindset is how you get through the emotional and physical struggle of cancer and its treatment. If you can set your mind right and I am not talking toxic positivity, you have won half your battle.
- Allow yourself to feel. Even the ‘why me’ feelings. You are also allowed to be angry, to cry, to have a pity party. Just don’t hang out there too long.
- Journal, write a blog, do a vlog, whatever you need to do to process what you are feeling. It is so healing.
- Try stay out of judging yourself or blaming yourself for where you are during this process.
- Listen to your body. Rest when you need to. Nobody is going to give you a gold star because you powered through. When you rest your body heals.
- Be brave enough to stop people from sharing horror stories. You don’t need that in your space.
- Turn to whatever it is you believe in to give you the strength to get through the tough days. Faith in whatever form is important.
- Believe in yourself enough that you are brave enough to live through this and to live your life with confidence and the courage to be yourself.
CREDITS:
Makeup: Bevs Beauty and wellness
Photos: Tilanie Grote Photography, 066 248 1751, [email protected], tilaniegrote.co.za
Dress: McCarthyWolff, www.mccarthywolff.co.za, @mccarthywolff
