As we celebrate Women’s Month this August, family law attorney Susan Abro is urging women to step into equal partnership roles within their relationships. This includes everything from shared financial planning and estate administration, to having access to banking passwords and retirement strategies.
“Too many women still find themselves completely stranded when a partner dies or becomes incapacitated. They don’t know how to use banking apps, they don’t have access to online accounts or passwords, and they’re left trying to pick up the pieces without the tools to do so while they are also emotionally trying to pick up the pieces,” says Abro, founder of Susan Abro Attorneys.
While the law has evolved, with the new draft Marriage Bill aiming to recognise all forms of unions including religious, customary, and civil partnerships, Abro says that legislation is only part of the equation. True equality requires practical conversations and joint decisions within the home.
“A relationship, no matter the legal status, is a partnership. Whether you’re married, cohabiting, or in a customary or religious union, you’re sharing a life together. You cannot afford to hide or hoard important information from each other. That includes financial planning, retirement savings, understanding your marital regime, and knowing how to access important digital accounts.”
She advises that the first major legal decision for couples is usually around getting married and signing an antenuptial contract. But this legal contract shouldn’t be the last time a couple plans together.
“It’s not enough to simply get married with or without an antenuptial contract. You need to revisit your plans as your life evolves. That means drawing up or updating a will when you have children, discussing guardianship, and potentially setting up a testamentary trust or inter vivo trust signing mutual powers of attorney. A family lawyer can guide you through the process and make sure your decisions reflect your current situation.”
Abro also highlights the burden many women still carry when it comes to traditional household responsibilities, even in families where they are the sole breadwinners. She recently assisted a client who, despite being the primary income earner and raising two young children, suffered a mental health breakdown from the overwhelming pressure. Not only was she solely responsible for the family’s financial wellbeing, but she also had to manage the demands of childcare and household duties, while her unemployed husband contributed very little to either.
“This is not sustainable or fair. We are living in the 21st century. It is no longer acceptable to divide responsibilities along outdated gender lines. If one partner is working full-time, the other should be contributing in other meaningful ways – whether that’s childcare, managing the home, or supporting emotionally. Where both parties work full time, they need to share the family and household responsibilities fairly. ”
The conversation around gender equality, she adds, must go beyond slogans and move into everyday life. That includes demystifying finances and giving women the confidence to make informed decisions about their futures.
“If you’re in a relationship, you need to be talking openly about money – current budgets, future savings, debt, retirement, all of it. And where possible, women should strive for financial independence. Consult with a trusted financial advisor who can explain how to manage your money, and help you plan for long-term stability.”
Crucially, Abro warns against avoiding these discussions under the guise of love or trust. “A lot of women avoid these conversations because they think it shows a lack of faith in their partner. But transparency is not a lack of trust, it is a sign of mutual respect and responsibility. If you love someone, you plan with them, not for them.”
With the draft Marriage Bill signalling a more inclusive and unified legal approach to relationships, now is the ideal time for couples to reflect on the foundations of their partnerships, and for women to ensure they are not left behind in matters of law, finance, or legacy.
“Equality in a relationship is not about dominance, but about shared leadership, open communication, and making sure both partners have the tools and access they need to thrive – now and into the future,” says Abro. “This year’s Women’s Month theme reminds us to accelerate action by actively including and empowering women in every aspect of life, from financial decision-making to estate planning. Equality at home lays the foundation for equality everywhere else.”
