Hillcrest therapist Kerry-Jane Coleman believes today’s boys do not need fixing.
They need understanding, safe spaces and support that meets them where they are.
Growing up has never been simple, but for many boys and young men today, the pressure can feel relentless. Academic expectations, social media, constant stimulation and the struggle to understand who they are in an ever-changing world are taking a visible toll on adolescent mental health. For some, particularly neurodivergent young people navigating ADHD, autism or sensory challenges, the overwhelm can quietly build beneath the surface long before anyone notices.
Hillcrest-based adolescent psychotherapist Kerry-Jane Coleman has spent years working closely with boys and young men in psychiatric facilities, correctional centres, schools and private practice. Through it all, one truth has remained consistent. Behaviour is often communication.
“Many boys are labelled disruptive, difficult or withdrawn before anyone stops to ask what is really going on underneath,” she explains.
With a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work from the University of Cape Town, clinical training at Valkenberg Psychiatric Hospital and the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital (Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry), and more than 13 years as a school counsellor at a private boys’ school in KwaZulu-Natal, Kerry-Jane brings both clinical expertise and lived understanding to her work.
In 2025, she launched KJC Therapy Services, focusing specifically on adolescent boys and young men. Her approach is deeply human, rooted in trust, curiosity and emotional safety.
What makes her perspective especially powerful is that it is not purely professional.
Kerry-Jane openly shares that she lives in a neurodivergent household. Her son, who is 17, has cerebral palsy, autism and ADHD, while both her daughter and Kerry-Jane herself are neurodivergent.
“My ADHD diagnosis at 40 brought clarity and compassion,” she says. “I know what it feels like to be the ‘too much’ child, the one who only made sense once somebody finally asked why.”
That lived experience shapes how she works with young people and families every day. According to Kerry-Jane, many boys present distress differently to girls. Rather than openly expressing sadness or anxiety, the signs often show up through irritability, anger, withdrawal, academic decline, risk-taking behaviour or emotional shutdown.
“Parents often wonder whether it is just typical teenage behaviour,” she says. “The key is looking at consistency, intensity and impact. If something feels persistent or out of character, it is worth paying attention to.”
She believes modern boys are carrying pressures previous generations never experienced at the same intensity.
“Today’s boys are navigating academic performance pressure, digital comparison, constant noise and stimulation, identity struggles and nervous systems that rarely get a chance to rest,” she explains.
Instead of focusing purely on correcting behaviour, Kerry-Jane works holistically, looking at the young person within the context of family, school and environment.
“Boys and young men do not exist in isolation,” she says. “Real change happens when we support both the young person and the systems around them.”
Her therapy space intentionally reflects this philosophy.
Rather than a formal, intimidating environment, her office includes oversized beanbags, sensory tools, fidget toys, bright colours and even a punching bag.
“Therapy does not need to feel clinical or rigid,” she explains. “Young men need spaces where they can move, regulate and simply be themselves.”
One of the most unique parts of Kerry-Jane’s approach is ecotherapy, structured nature-based programmes designed to help boys and young men regulate emotionally and mentally.
“These programmes are not about survival or extreme outdoor challenges,” she says. “They are about slowing down, breathing, moving, reconnecting and allowing the nervous system to settle.”
For many neurodivergent adolescents, nature provides relief from sensory overload, social pressure and constant digital stimulation.
“Nature creates space,” Kerry-Jane explains. “When young people feel calmer and safer in their bodies, the deeper therapeutic work becomes possible.”
Equally important is family involvement. Kerry-Jane believes parents do not need to have all the answers, but they do need to remain connected and curious.
“Parents often feel pressure to fix everything immediately,” she says. “Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stay calm, stay present and remind your child that you will figure it out together.”
She encourages families to shift away from reacting purely to behaviour and instead become curious about what might be driving it.
“Validation matters,” she explains. “Feeling heard is often the first step towards healing.”
For young men themselves, Kerry-Jane’s message is simple. “You do not have to have all the words yet. Noticing that something feels off is already brave.”
Her work is ultimately centred around helping boys and young men build emotional awareness, resilience and self-understanding that will support them long after therapy ends.
“Therapy is not about fixing people,” she says. “It is about understanding yourself, learning how your mind and body work, and building tools that help you navigate life with more confidence and compassion.”
As conversations around mental health continue to evolve, Kerry-Jane hopes more boys and young men will feel safe enough to ask for support without shame.
“None of us have it all figured out,” she says. “What matters is connection, curiosity and knowing that asking for help is never weakness.”
Details: You can reach Kerry-Jane on 076 699 2019 | 031 020 2178 | contact@kjctherapy.co.za | kjctherapy.co.za or follow her on socials IG: @kjc_therapy or FB: @KJC Therapy
A message for teens
Simple reminders for navigating growing up.
- You do not have to go through difficult things alone.
- Asking for help is strength, not weakness.
- You are still becoming who you are, nobody has it all figured out.
- Slow breathing, movement, nature and rest genuinely help your nervous system.
- You are allowed to grow at your own pace.
Gentle guidance for parents
Practical, everyday approaches that help build trust and emotional safety.
- Stay curious rather than reactive. Shift from “Why are you behaving like this?” to “What might be happening underneath this?”
- Create small moments of connection. Car rides, shared snacks and quiet moments together often matter more than big conversations.
- Regulate yourself first. A calm parent helps a teenager’s nervous system settle.
- Validate before guiding. Feeling heard comes before problem-solving.
- Offer choice and autonomy where possible. Teenagers cope better when they feel trusted.
What to avoid
- Avoid long lectures, they often shut communication down.
- Do not minimise feelings or dismiss overwhelm.
- Remember that irritability or withdrawal can signal distress.
- Not every behaviour needs immediate correction.
- Sometimes simply being present is enough.
