A book can be many things. An escape. An adventure. A tool to help you navigate life. For Tiffini Hein, founder of the Maletsatsi Foundation, books are a kind of magic … magic that lent a special sparkle during the brief life of her son, Archie. Hoping that other parents of ill children can benefit from the same kind of magic, Tiffini has created Archie’s Archive.
Tiffini was never the kind of person who dreamed of having two and a half kids and a Labrador. Instead, whenever she pictured her future, it was filled with a gaggle of boisterous, noisy and much-loved children of all ages and races – which is exactly what she has. Since she and her husband, Richard, opened their home as a Place of Safety back in 2016, more than 100 children have found sanctuary here.
All of them have a special place in Tiffini’s heart, but three – six-year-old Mac, five-year-old Goose and Kgotso, -who is four – have become permanent members of the family since being adopted, joining Rich and Tiffini’s biological children – 11-year-old Sophie-Mae, and nine-year-old and Harvey – in the clan that Tiffini always imagined. So, last year, when Tiffini learned that she would be welcoming yet another member of the family, she was ecstatic.
However, Tiffini realised something was wrong as soon as she welcomed little Archie into the world . “Rich was trying to assure me that everything was okay, but I could see that the peadiatrician was concerned.” Initially, it was assumed that the breathing issues Archie was experiencing were related to his birth at 37 weeks. Then, on the seventh day of his life, Tiffini and Rich’s world was turned upside down. “We were expecting him to be discharged that day, but instead we were told he needed to be transferred to a specialist cardiac unit at another hospital.”
The “horrendously traumatic” ambulance ride ended with the news that Archie needed surgery and re-intubation. “I still hadn’t held Archie. At that point, Richard told the nurse that he was going to ask a doctor if I could at least hold him before he went into theatre. The nurse immediately placed him on my lap and, instantly, I felt my whole body decompress.” Sadly, though, the procedure was not the interim fix the Heins had hoped for. Just 11 days after Archie was born, they were told there was nothing more doctors could do, and Archie would only have a few weeks to live.
“At that moment, I knew this would not be my child’s life. One of my first questions to the cardiac surgeon was ‘How can we get him home’. I didn’t want my child to die – or rather, live – in hospital.”
Richard shared her conviction that Archie’s life would not be one of sadness. The couple cried for two days, then committed to making their time with him special, no matter how deep the ache in their hearts. This was when they started reading to Archie. “We wanted to find a way to spend time with him that was meaningful. Visiting hours were only two hours a day, and we wanted to be able to connect with him during that time.”
Tiffini says that as soon she and Rich picked up a book, time stood still. “The paediatric cardiac unit is incredibly traumatic – around us, kids were crashing, nurses were rushing to resuscitate them, machines and alarms were going off – but when we started reading, it felt like we were encased in a bubble, where only we existed in the world. Archie felt it too – when he heard our voices, he’d open his eyes and interact with us. It was a sacred time and a sacred space.” Tiffini’s favorite book was Danny, the Champion of the World by Roald Dahl, but she read anything that she felt would give him an experience of the world he would never get to know – like Hagedesh the Hadeda by Charles de Villiers, “because every Johannesburg child should hear a hadeda”.
The community around them rallied to their cause – the couple would arrive home from the hospital to find books propped up outside their gate, sent by friends, family, strangers. This became a great source of sustenance in their grief.
At five and a half weeks, Archie came home, spending his time wrapped in the love of his siblings and parents – and always surrounded by books. While doctors had warned Tiffini and Richard that he wouldn’t live past three weeks, and wouldn’t even open his eyes, they said goodbye to their baby boy after his three-month birthday.
When Tiffini thinks of Archie, she thinks of yellow, because of the joy he brought. That’s why she chose yellow as the signature of her Archie’s Archive project, the first of which was launched on what would have been her baby’s nine month birthday. Archie’s Archive has now been introduced at Netcare Sunninghill Hospital, although she plans to launch archives around the province.
Tiffini explains that every parent in the NICU and CTICU is invited to pick a ‘starter kit’, containing several books, from the Archive. Because infection is obviously a major concern inside hospitals, the books cannot be returned once they are borrowed, so the starter packs are given to parents as gifts to keep. Tiffini urges parents to ask their friends to support their reading with book donations. “More than that, just get reading as soon as possible. This way, your child hears your voice, rather than the noises of the hospital around them – and most of all, you’ll have a time to look back on that fills your heart with happy memories, rather than sadness.”
Tiffini’s tips for supporting a family in crisis
• Don’t ask what you can do. Most families aren’t able to focus on one thing long enough to let you know what they need, so be proactive … drop off a dinner, for example.
• If you’re not sure what to say, be honest! Admitting that you’re at a loss for words may be appreciated – after all, there is no hiding that this is a horrible situation.
• As much as you want to know what’s happening and if there have been any new developments, accept that the family needs to focus all their energies on each other right now. Focus all your energy on supporting them in this quest.
If you’re kind enough to donate, new or used books can be sent to Archie’s Archive, Postnet Suite #16, Private Bag X16,Highveld Park, 0169 . You could also order from Exclusive Books or Reader’s Warehouse, and those could be sent to PostNet Greyowl, Shop 16, Grey Owl Shopping Centre, Brakfontein Road, Louwardia, Centurion, 1683, clearly marked for attention Tiffini Hein. Takealot purchases can be sent directly to the Takealot Pickup Point Midrand (Big Bird Petroport, N1 Bridge Southbound), marked for Archie’s Archive. For all the above, notifications to Tiffini on 071-352-1457.
Text: LISA WITEPSKI • Photographer: Nicole Moore. Details: nicolemoorephotography.co.za • Make-up: Makeup by Ryno, 071-688-0242. • Hair: Tanaz Hair. Details: tanaz.net
