Atishca Makan was enjoying all the trimmings of an established, senior position at a well-known company when her life was thrown into complete turmoil … Pausing to reflect on her mental health, she did that one thing that many dream of, but only a few dares to do.
After 10 years, Atishca left the stability of corporate life behind her, and has not looked back. ‘My first day at home, I cried … a lot. For the first four months as a ‘non-employee’, I did things to feed my soul. I allowed myself to work through the intense grief of my father’s passing and to find joy in the beauty of life again. At a stage, I was so deeply depressed that I wanted to shout to the world how insanely irrelevant their latest tantrum was. I just wanted to shout … You are breathing, you are still alive!’
During this time Atishca focused on building her personal brand and re-entering the market as a brand and communications consultant for 702 and Eyewitness News. In between, she started an initiative called Dressed with Legacy, co-founded the Active Grief Community and became an Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioner.
But how did the idea for these initiatives come about? ‘If I could graffiti the walls with my father’s memories I would. But you know … there is the law! I started writing them down. The fear that I would eventually forget them was a real concern. As I wrote I laughed, cried and felt better. I wanted others to see how therapeutic this could be. We sat as a family sharing the memories that truly mattered to us. I knew then I could make this bigger and better. The grief journey truly changes you. You become less triggered by the mundane and seek a deeper existence. I needed to find the things that fed my soul, and I could not find it in full-time corporate life. So, I took the plunge and started Dressed With Legacy.’
Atishca has always been drawn to the stories behind the many garments and items that fill second-hand stores and charity shops.
‘I have found it interesting to learn where these things come from, what homes and families surrounded these items and what stories they saw unfolding. Dressed With Legacy (DWL) aims to help people share the memories of their loved ones by attaching those memories to the items they would like to donate to charity. We take printed cardboard clothing tags and write the memories on the back of those tags.’
DWL is not a registered non-profit organisation, but there is no fee for collecting and donating the clothes. All Atishca wants is to share and grow this concept. Another amazing concept that stemmed from this initiative was the Legacy Bears. These teddy bears are ordered and then dressed in the clothes of the loved ones who have passed away. Seamstresses tailor the clothes into a perfect fit for the adorable bears, making them a keepsake for family members and friends.
Her work as founder of DWL also let Atishca become a bereavement guide. ‘It happened quite organically. I managed to put my life together and this was noticed by some incredible people who thought I could help others on this journey. They then offered me a space to do that.’
Adapting to the times, Atishca offers Zoom sessions on Emotional Freedom Techniques – also known at tapping – which have been a huge success. ‘It is a powerful holistic healing technique that is based on the combined principles of ancient Chinese acupressure and modern psychology. Tapping with the fingertips on specific meridian endpoints of the body, while focusing on negative emotions or physical sensations, helps to calm the nervous system, rewire the brain to respond in healthier ways, and restore the body’s balance of energy. Apart from this, Dani Donald (a counsellor and Mindset and Behavioural Coach) and I offer Active Grief Community support which is a safe, interactive platform providing a supportive and compassionate space to learn, share and connect with others on a similar journey. Lastly, I provide corporate-level expertise to entrepreneurs and organisations assisting with brand makeovers and website development.’
Like many of us, Atishca has also experienced the wrath of Covid-19 and her contract as Brand and Communications consultant for the media companies was not renewed. But she sticks to her mantra – ‘Even though the situation is not ideal, at this moment it’s okay. And at this moment, I’m okay’.
True courage is asking for and
allowing yourself to receive help
‘This period in our lives right now is so unbelievably scary. Many of us have lost our jobs, had to close our businesses, learn to make a 2kg bag of rice last four to five meals – all whilst showing up on social media like we have our lives still intact. Because a ‘strong woman’ doesn’t show her weaknesses. We have to learn new technological tools, upskill ourselves on the fly, all just to be able to generate an income.
‘The self-identity of the women I have been working with through my Emotional Freedom Techniques programmes has been attached to their job titles and roles to such a huge extent. Losing this has left them questioning their self-worth and their ability to be that dynamic person who has a voice simply because she is no longer in a boardroom and doing presentations.
‘We need to remember that we are still the same women on the inside and that our worth is not in what we do, but in who we are. I will proudly say that I was nearly sent away to a facility for a month because of severe depression. And that is perfectly okay. We must drop the masks (not that mask!); be unapologetically honest … with yourself and with others. In
doing so we permit other women to do the same.
‘A while ago whilst working with my life coach, Kagiso Msimango, the one thing I felt would change my life would be finding my courage. There were things I wanted to do, a vision of who I wanted to become. Courage is underestimated … We think money gives us courage, same as alcohol does. But true courage is facing yourself every day, calling yourself out on your nonsense and ‘doing the work’. True courage is asking for and allowing yourself to receive help. It is being okay with all that is, and all that is yet to be. Am I brave enough to jump out a plane? Nah. Am I brave enough to share my flaws and story? Of course. Don’t fear courage. It’s pretty fun on the other side of fear.’
What does the future hold? ‘If I had answered the greatest interview question of all time in 2015, ‘where do you see yourself in five years’, I would not have said ‘having Zoom sessions with clients while in my fluffy pyjama pants and unicorn slippers …’
‘In the pipeline is a book I’m writing called Grief: A necessary discomfort.’
WIN! Atishca is giving away four sessions on ‘No is a full sentence – tap into being respectful of your needs’ to one reader. These one-hour sessions to the value of R1 860 will be presented via Zoom. To enter, like our GetItJoburgWest Facebook page, the competition post and you’ll be in the draw. Entries close August 31. Ts & Cs apply.
Details: Follow them on Facebook, Dressed With Legacy, Active Grief
Community or email [email protected].
Photographer: ZELNA HARRISON.
