Durban North’s Marisa De Barros Lamy has lived a colourful and interesting life. Having been a professional model for more than 30 years, she recently decided, at the age of 63, to step in front of the camera once more and recreate photographs from her past, proving that true beauty is ageless. She shares her journey with us.
“Much like all of us, I’ve carried life experiences, lessons, tragedy, sadness and pain with me throughout my life. In spite of this, I still believe there is good in people and that I am worthy. So many people see beauty as purely external, but there is more to life than being a poster girl.”
Born in Lourenço Marques in Mozambique, Marisa was always considered a ‘black sheep’ of her family. Forced to grow up before her time, her parents’ divorce left her in the care of her mother who sent her off to boarding school at the age of nine and forced her to marry someone she hardly knew at the age of 17.
“I didn’t understand, and I hated what was happening, but I had no choice in those days, so off I went to Angola where I ended up falling pregnant and having my daughter, Barbara. The marriage didn’t last and a year later I found myself at the airport where I spent three days trying to get back to my home country with my child. Looking back I do believe that my mom loved me and was doing what she thought was best for me.”
In 1976, Marisa arrived in South Africa with nothing. Her first job was at the Malibu Hotel in Durban, where she met pianist and composer, Miguel Oscar Sabino. He became the love of her life.
“I started work for a clothing agency, where I ended up working for the next more than 30 years. It was then that my modelling also career took off. Miguel and I travelled a lot and spent seven happy years together before he died from colon cancer.”
The couple had one son, Paulo Sérgio, who was born on Miguel’s birthday.
Marisa continued to model post baby number two, and at times worked for Caçador Restaurant to make ends meet.
“When I met former sports anchor and broadcasting legend, Martin Locke, my modelling career was really starting to take off. I was honoured to model with Miss Universe at the time, Margaret Gardiner, as well as Miss SA, Linda Phillips, who I actually taught to walk the ramp. I also had the privilege of meeting icons like Tina Turner, Tom Jones and Rita Coolidge. These were great memories with loads of beautiful ladies and lots of laughter. But it was short-lived. I went to Portugal and came back to find out that my mom had plans to marry me off again. As a model and single mother, this was a blow to my confidence knowing that I was still being judged by my family. I actually liked my independence and enjoyed the life I was living.”
Regardless, at the age of 33, Marisa married popular comedian and entertainer, Fernando Lamy, whom she’d known through family friends all of her life. Together they had a daughter, Daniella.
“I was fortunate that both of my first two pregnancies had very little effect on my body. But the third almost killed me. I developed Toxemia, also known as pre-eclampsia, and my husband had to choose whose life to save, mine or our baby’s. In the end, our gynaecologist, Dr Jill Grey, managed to save us both.”
Marisa and Fernando were married for 30 years, during which time she says she took a back seat from her own career and interests to raise her family while her husband provided for them.
“I did a few episodes for Portuguese TV and Interkom, but I’d given up what I loved and this weighed heavy on my soul. Fernando was talented, he had a beautiful voice and while the marriage wasn’t always easy, we pushed through. He suffered from heart problems, and in the end I took care of him, as I’d promised, until he passed.”
The couple owned a restaurant at Cabana Beach Resorts, which did really well for a while.
“But after my husband died I was left with R99 … and was forced to sell everything I had and start from scratch. As a widow, and with thyroid problems that made losing weight very difficult, I carried a heavy burden in terms of my own self-image and worth.”
But then, Marisa says, she started to realise that beauty is not just about what you look like – it is about who you are. She believes that inner character, courage, strength and kindness all shine through far greater than just physical appearance.
“Women are strong. Life doesn’t stop when we start ageing. I’m a Sagittarius with a big sense of humour and I stand tall now, through all I’ve survived, with the belief that I still am enough and worthy of finding true love again.”
When photographer Sandra Keddie offered to recreate photos from Marisa’s modelling days she says it was a huge boost for my confidence.
“It made me realise even more that I, with my body and my character, am a beautiful woman. Every one of us is. And we all deserve to be loved and happy.
Age is just a number. I’ve had silver hair for so long now, and I believe that with age we begin to see life as it really is, and we learn better to accept this. Wrinkles are wrinkles, they all tell a story. I always bath with baby oil in the water, and I use Eucerin when I can, but for the rest, I am okay with the fact that I am who I am and my body is the way it is and it will continue to change, but my sense of humour remains and keeps me going. I would love to model again as a means of doing something for me, and also as a way of inspiring other women in the hopes of helping them accept change and love themselves regardless.”
Photo credit for current professional images: Sandra Keddie Photography www.sandrakeddiephotography.co.za, 0797522124
