A great place to create a sense of connection with your family is around the dinner table so read on for the conversation starters and fun things we have found to boost connecting.
Dinner conversations are not only an opportunity to catch up, connecting is also vital for healthy childhood development and growing emotional intelligence. We therefore love word jars to start conversations and discovered a new series of disposable placemats for families, with a teen version too!
Produced by psychologist, author and podcaster Paul Bushell, the placemats are stylish and well-priced (they’re R145 for 40 sheets). They are great conversation starters and stimulate loads of fun over the holidays. And fun is something Paul believes is so important.
As a regular commentator on emotional intelligence, childhood development, career development and meaningful living and founder of the #raisingkids brand, which includes books, resources and tools for adults, teens, and children to build emotional intelligence, Paul sheds a little light on dinner table connecting.
“Human beings are social by nature and feeling a sense of belonging and connection makes us feel safe and happy. Connection is also vital for healthy childhood development.”
He says children who feel close to and acknowledged by the people around them, are more likely to be content, confident, and secure enough to try new things and keep learning.
“Living in a fast-paced world means that there are many barriers to genuine connection. Our increasingly unrealistic expectations of ourselves, over-demanding schedules and excessive screen time are serious barriers to being present and connected in the here and now.”
Although the summer holidays are a great opportunity for family and friends to connect, we can all agree they can also be very busy and stressful. As hard as it is to hear, many of these demands and distractions are self-made and created by us.
“Make this your season for connection by making a list of some of the things that usually distract you from being present, connected and enjoying the jolly season. Then, take the time to imagine a different version of the holidays without these barriers and stressors. Of course, we don’t have control over everyone or every situation. However, we can take out and introduce different activities, routines and traditions that work better for us and our family.
“Find moments for everyone to sit down at the table (without their devices), and let a conversation either naturally unfold or use prompts (like questions or a game) to get people engaging. Let go of the idea that these moments need to be picture-perfect or go a certain way, rather allowing them to just unfold. Making disposable placemats, which have a different question or prompt on them to get people sharing and listening around the table, can be a fun activity to try.”
He adds that board games, sitting outside, being in nature or going for family walks can also be great ways of connecting. This could be any activity which doesn’t include screens, doesn’t have too many rules or expectations, and doesn’t take too much planning or stress.
“There’s no doubt that the world around us is moving faster and faster. It’s hard not to feel a pressure to keep up and make sure we are doing everything. It’s important to remember though, that we can slow down our own world and manage our own expectations and definitions of a happy, fulfilled holiday. As scary as it might sound, genuine connection often takes less rather than more.”
Details: @raisingkids.sa or www.bushell.co.za
WIN
We’ve got two sets of Dinner Conversation Placemats to give away. Pop over to the competition post here to enter.
