As South Africa marks the 27th anniversary of the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children campaign under the theme Letsema: Men, Women, Boys and Girls working together to end Gender-Based Violence and Femicide, family law expert Susan Abro is urging South Africans to recognise that protection against domestic violence must never be used as a weapon. It must remain a lifeline for those who genuinely need it.
“The Domestic Violence Act is there to protect people from real harm. When it is misused, the most vulnerable end up suffering even more” says Susan Abro, a respected family lawyer and former Chairperson of the Law Society of South Africa’s Family Law Committee.
The definition of domestic violence in South Africa includes not only physical or sexual abuse, but also emotional, psychological, verbal, economic and spiritual abuse, elder abuse, intimidation, harassment, and coercive or controlling behaviour. Importantly, exposing a child to domestic violence is now clearly recognised as abuse.
“Protecting children does not only mean protecting them from violence. It also means protecting them from being manipulated or used as tools in family disputes,” explains Abro.
Protection orders are a vital tool. However, Susan has seen worrying misuse of interim protection orders between spouses. The first person who reaches court may secure an interim protection order that includes a warrant of arrest, while the other spouse receives only a notice to show cause. This creates a dangerous power imbalance.
“Couples are using protection orders to gain a legal upper hand, even when real violence has not occurred. This is deeply troubling because it takes resources away from genuine victims,” says Abro.
She warns that misuse of the process can lead to the true victims being overlooked and unprotected. “Using the Domestic Violence Act as leverage during divorce or maintenance disputes is not only unethical, it is abusive in itself.”
Modern family disputes have extended into digital spaces. Without consent, some spouses are cloning WhatsApp accounts, accessing private emails, listening in on consultations with attorneys or placing tracking devices in cars, breaking attorney client privilege.
“I now ask clients to leave their phones outside my consultation room at reception because their privacy may already have been invaded. Technology is powerful, and in the wrong hands it can become a form of abuse,” says Abro.
She stresses that this invasion of privacy can implicate children too, as some are being recruited by a parent to spy on another using their technological skills.
Another form of abuse Susan highlights is parental alienation, where one parent influences a child to fear, reject or take legal action against the other parent, even when there is no danger. Children are sometimes encouraged to apply for protection orders against the other parent as a way of removing them from the home.
“Alienation is abuse. Children who grow up alienated from a parent often carry deep psychological wounds into adulthood. It damages their ability to form healthy relationships later in life,” says Abro. “Adults and children both suffer when the law is manipulated in this way.”
Susan emphasises that abuse must always be reported to the correct court and through the correct legal channels. “Domestic violence cases belong in the domestic violence court. Non-urgent financial abuse should go to the maintenance court. Contact matters go to the children’s court or high court. Going to the wrong court for the wrong reason is harmful, unfair and often unlawful.”
Legal professionals also have a responsibility. “If you specialise in family law, your first task is conciliation, not litigation. Lawyers should never encourage clients to misuse the Act for strategic or financial gain.”
This year’s theme calls for entire communities to work together to end Gender-Based Violence. For Susan Abro, that also means ending the misuse of laws intended to protect vulnerable people.
“The Act must remain a shield, not a sword. When we use it with integrity and compassion, we protect families. When we misuse it, we hurt them. This campaign is a reminder that our justice system is ethical and effective as the people who apply it.”
