After losing 38kg through sustainable lifestyle changes, Durban social worker and mother of three Thokozile Mdletshe is encouraging women to shift their focus from chasing society’s idea of beauty to embracing lasting health, confidence and self-worth.
For Thokozile Mdletshe, true wellbeing has never been about achieving the perfect figure or reaching a target weight. Instead, she believes it’s about building a life rooted in self-respect, resilience and healthy habits that can be sustained for life.
As a Durban social worker and mother of three, she has spent more than two decades supporting people through some of life’s most difficult challenges. Her work has shown her just how closely emotional wellbeing, confidence and physical health are connected, particularly for women who often put everyone else’s needs before their own.
It is a lesson she knows not only through her profession, but from her own personal journey.
“There came a point when I realised I could either allow society’s expectations to define me or embrace the woman God created me to be,” says Thoko.
Like many women, she found herself questioning her worth against unrealistic beauty standards while facing a number of lifestyle-related health challenges. Weighing 151kg, she knew something had to change, not because she wanted to fit into someone else’s definition of beauty, but because she wanted to take better care of herself.
Her approach was refreshingly simple. Rather than searching for a quick fix, she committed to regular walks of seven to eight kilometres, three times a week. Those walks remain part of her routine, improving not only her fitness but also her emotional and mental wellbeing.
“They became my personal sanctuary,” she says. “It was time away from the demands of work and motherhood where I could pray, reflect, meditate and reconnect with myself.”
Along the way, Thoko lost 38 kilograms, but she says the biggest transformation wasn’t reflected on the scales.
“I no longer saw fitness as punishment or a way to meet society’s expectations. It became an act of self-love and self-care.”
Today, movement is no longer about changing her appearance. It’s about protecting her physical, emotional and mental wellbeing, something she believes every woman deserves to prioritise, regardless of age, shape or size. Thoko encourages women to let go of the idea that exercise has to involve expensive gym memberships or gruelling workouts.
“Movement should be realistic, enjoyable and sustainable,” she says. “It can be as simple as taking a walk while listening to music, dancing in your living room, stretching in the morning or choosing the stairs instead of the lift. What matters most is consistency.”
As a practising social worker in a general hospital, Thoko brings that same philosophy into her work every day. She supports patients as they navigate the healthcare system while helping them overcome the social and emotional challenges that often accompany illness.
“My profession has taught me to listen without judgement, understand people’s unique circumstances and empower them to find their own strengths,” she says. “Every woman has a story, and every story deserves compassion.”
Working in healthcare has reinforced just how deeply poor self-esteem and negative body image can affect women’s lives. She regularly meets women who avoid exercise because they fear being judged, or who believe they need to reach a certain dress size before they deserve confidence.
“I believe we need to create more supportive environments where women feel encouraged rather than criticised.”
It is one of the reasons she has become a passionate advocate for body confidence and holistic wellbeing.
For Thoko, true health cannot be measured simply by appearance.
“Health is about balanced nutrition, regular movement, adequate rest and emotional wellbeing,” she explains. “Women of every size can choose healthy habits, and every step towards wellness deserves to be celebrated.”
That balanced philosophy extends to the way she eats. Rather than restricting herself or following fad diets, she believes in nourishing her body while still enjoying food.
“I love food. For me, food is therapeutic, but I prioritise nourishing my body over giving in to cravings.”
Each day begins with prayer and gratitude, practices that help centre her before the demands of work and family life begin. She also makes time for movement, wears clothes that make her feel confident, and reminds herself that caring for her own wellbeing is not selfish, but essential.
Those are the values she hopes to pass on to her three sons, raising them to see beyond appearances and value people for their character.
Those same values now reach an even wider audience through her role as KZN’s only finalist in the 2026 Miss Curvylicious South Africa pageant. While the competition has given her a platform to connect with more women through community outreach, charity initiatives and public awareness campaigns, she sees it simply as another way to continue the work she is already passionate about.
“It’s about serving others with compassion, uplifting vulnerable people and reminding every woman that her worth is not determined by her size or appearance.”
Looking ahead, Thoko hopes to continue building a legacy of empowerment through mentorship, wellness initiatives, public speaking and community outreach. Her dream is to create spaces where women feel safe enough to embrace themselves exactly as they are while also being encouraged to pursue healthier, happier lives.
Her message is both simple and powerful.
“Your worth is not determined by your size, shape, age or anyone else’s opinion of you. Confidence begins the moment you choose to accept yourself.”
After all, the most important journey any woman can take isn’t measured in kilograms or kilometres, but in learning to value herself, care for her wellbeing and realise she has always been enough.
Details: Follow Thoko’s journey on Facebook: Thoko Misscurvylicioussa Finalist, Instagram: Thoko – Miss Curvylicious SA Finalist 2026 or TikTok: Queen Thoko MCSA Finalist 2026
Photos: Tantalising Twins Content Creators, Amy 082 494 8887, Meg 082 494 8888, tantalisingtwins@gmail.com
Six simple habits for lifelong wellbeing
Move in a way you enjoy
Exercise doesn’t have to mean hours in the gym. Find movement that fits your life, whether that’s walking, dancing, stretching or gardening. The best exercise is the one you’ll keep doing.
Focus on consistency, not perfection
Healthy habits don’t need to be perfect to be effective. Small choices, repeated regularly, create lasting change.
Nourish, don’t punish
Enjoy food, but choose foods that fuel your body most of the time. Drink plenty of water, include fruit and vegetables in your meals, and avoid thinking of food as the enemy.
Look after your mind too
Wellbeing isn’t only physical. Make time for prayer, meditation, gratitude, quiet reflection or whatever helps you reconnect with yourself.
Wear confidence every day
Choose clothes that fit well and make you feel comfortable and authentic. Confidence isn’t about the size on the label, it’s about how you feel when you wear them.
Remember your worth isn’t measured by your weight
True beauty comes from kindness, resilience, compassion and purpose. Your body is only one part of who you are.
